Counseling the Culturally Diverse

The Latino event I attended was an interview of the famous American Mexican writer Francisco Jimenez held at Santa Clara University. Dr. Jimenez is currently a professor in the Department of Modern Languages and Literatures at Santa Clara University. He is the author of many award winning books the most famous being: The Circuit: Stories from the Life of a Migrant Child, Breaking Through (a sequel to The Circuit) and Reaching Out (a sequel to Breaking Through). These three books are Dr. Jimenez’s personal account of his immigrant journey from Mexico to United States and the struggles he faced as he tried to survive and integrate into the American culture. The Circuit talks about his childhood, growing up in a family of Mexican workers, crossing the border to United States unauthorized and being deported back to Mexico when he was in 8^th grade. Breaking Through is an account of his journey back to United States, this time through a legal sponsor, working in the fields as a child and trying to balance the rigorous lifestyle of an adolescence who is attending high school as well as working 30-35 hours a week to make ends meet. The last book in this series, Reaching Out is the narrator’s journey from high school to college, leaving his family behind who were struggling with poverty, entering a world which was very different from his own and trying to earn money while he attends college to send back home.

The event was an interview of Dr. Jimenez by his son Poncho Jimenez who is also a professor at Santa Clara University. The event was well attended and the audience consisted of not only Latinos but also people from other minority cultures. There was an air of being present at a celebrity event. However, when Dr. Jimenez came on stage, I was surprised to see his humble and unassuming demeanor despite his fame. It was evident that even though he had achieved a lot in his life, he had gone through tremendous pain to be where he was today. This reminded me of the struggles which immigrant families go through to acculturate to the dominant culture in order to survive. For example, Dr. Jimenez shared that one of the most painful memories of his childhood was going to school in United States and not knowing a word of English. I was surprised that out all the memories he has, he talks about how language is the biggest barrier for Mexican immigrants to acculturate. His classmates made fun of him and his primary school teachers were not very helpful in accommodating the fact that English was not his first language. What amazed me even more was that despite having such challenging beginnings with the English language, Dr. Jimenez is an award winning English writer today. He turned his weakness into his strength and did not let it hold him back from achieving his dreams. He is a role model to all those immigrants who come to America and get dejected by the difficulties they face getting acculturated. Having said this, Dr. Jimenez did mention that his success is due to his good fortune of meeting some kind teachers who recognized the problems he was facing and decided to help him. In fact, part of the reason why Dr. Jimenez chose to become a teacher himself was because he was inspired and helped by teachers without whom he would not be where he is today.

As a counselor, working with the Latino population without speaking their language can be very challenging. Many Latinos who did not go to school in United States may never have had the opportunity or the motivation to learn English. Is it possible to work with such a population using a translator (or ask them to speak in the limited English they might know) or do we run the risk of losing the essence of the conversation in translation? I tend to lean towards the latter as research has shown that people tend to think and feel in their dominant language. Working with someone whose language I don’t understand or asking them to speak in a different language can impact the efficacy of therapy.

The interviewer, Poncho asked his father questions related to his life, the books and what it was like to grow up in the American culture. The bond between the father and son was evident while they were talking to each other. In fact, Dr. Jimenez’s grandchildren were present in the audience as well and when it was time for questions at the end of the interview, they came up on stage to ask questions to their grandfather. This reminded me of the Latino value of ‘Familismo’ where the family is more important than the individual unit. Even during the most challenging times at college, Dr. Jimenez still sent money home for his poor family. Coming from a collectivist culture myself and being an immigrant in this country, I can understand and relate to this concept. Clinically, the implications of working with someone from a collectivist culture versus an individualistic culture can be very different. For example, family therapy might prove more effective than individual therapy with someone from the Latino culture. Being sensitive to the needs of the family as a whole and not just the individual will be important to keep in mind for a therapist working with the Latino population.

Dr. Jimenez also talks about the values of hardwork and respect (Respecto) which his culture and family taught him. These are the foundation of many Latino immigrants who come to US seeking a better life leaving behind all that they have known. His experiences of working in the fields picking strawberries, growing up in extreme poverty and entering United States illegally to have a better life are examples of how hard his family was willing to work. The concept of Respecto was evident in the dynamics of the father and son on stage during the event. It was clear that despite the fact that both of them were professors at the same university, Poncho looked up to his father and held him in high regard.

As a multicultural counselor, understanding the values of the culture is very important in understanding the client. The values are the foundation on which the client’s worldview is based. I believe that helping the client live in congruency with their own values (not the values of the counselor or the dominant culture) is key to being an effective counselor with minority populations.

In conclusion, I had a very rich cultural experience attending this event. I saw in action the concepts and values of the Latino culture which were discussed in class. Dr. Jimenez is a symbol of success and hope in his community. He reminds all of us that no matter what our struggles are, we can convert those struggles into our strengths and pursue our dreams.

Consumed by Consumerism

Malls malls everywhere, so many things to buy!

As the mall culture of the west sweeps into the east, no city is spared. Whether it is the biggest metro city of the country or a small and upcoming town, there is a mall to be found.

Gone are the days of spending the evening hanging out with your friends at the local market eating ice-cream. Or eagerly waiting to hear the familiar sound of the ice-cream man pushing his cart in the colony. It is the time and age of yogurts, gelato, lattes, cappuccino and all other fancy names for the ice-cream and coffee which once was, to be consumed at the hottest chain cafe in the coolest mall. Call it globalization or consumerism, it is staring at our faces every time we step outside our homes.

India is now the home of all the major consumer brands of the world. You name it and we have it here. However, is the average Indian losing her identity in all these brands and designer clothes? Why is someone with the most expensive handbag considered the coolest? What about who the person really is, what they are passionate about and what do they care about? Maybe it is easier to talk about the superficial as the real stuff is hard to look at. How are your relationships with your near and dear ones? Are you happy in your marriage? Are you enjoying your work?  What happens when you can’t actually afford it? And where do you keep all this stuff?

The bigger question is: what is it that compels us to buy something when we don’t need it/can’t afford it/don’t have the space for it? Maybe:

• Instant gratification: the rush of the purchase (not very different from that of a drug!)
• Need to belong & Competition (Kitty Party Syndrome)
• Boredom and too much of money (Can’t blame this lot!)
• Numbness: Not in touch with reality

And the biggest question of all: Can the ‘hole in the soul’ be made whole with materialistic things? Or is it a bottomless pit..we keep putting ‘stuff’ in it, however it is never enough.

I was faced with these questions during a recent visit to the homes for orphan and vulnerable children run by the Zakat Foundation in New Delhi, India. There were two separate facilities located in the Okhla village area, one for boys called Happy Home and the other for girls called Fatima Home. While the children from these homes have been given the basics: food, clothing, shelter and schooling, seeing their extremely simple and basic living arrangements and watching the children get excited about the possibility of receiving a donation of story books for their library (which did not have very many books), made me see my life as being more that ‘glass half-full’. It made me realize that every time I feel that I don’t have enough, all I need to do is think of these children who don’t have parents or family forget the latest designer bag.

Yes, it is all relative..and I do believe that we all have our share of troubles..and money is just one measurable metric. And I don’t want to fall into the trap of feeling guilty for what I have. However, it is the attitude of these children which moved me the most. They had so little and they were so happy. Then, how come we have so much and we are still chasing happiness?

Community = Come + Unity

‘We all need a community of hope’ said Katherine Fulton at the Stanford Non-profit Management Leadership Conference this year. She went on to talk about how despite having a stressful job and ups & downs in life, it is a community where one is accepted and loved unconditionally that keeps her going. When I heard this, I realized how important a community is for a person’s well-being. It is what brings unity both externally and internally. No wonder, it takes a village to raise a child!

Having studied, worked and lived away from home since the last 10 years, for the longest time I could not explain the deep craving I would feel whenever I entered a new phase of my life whether in a new country, city, university or job. It was a gut level feeling that something is not quite right, till I would find people who I could connect with or a cause which I believed in.

Initially, the need for community was for something familiar. Being a North Indian, studying in central India, it was my community of North Indian friends who I spent time with at Pune University during undergraduate years. Surprisingly, even at Stanford university during my graduate studies, my community was not the ‘Indian’ community, but the ‘North Indian’ community. The roots of culture, language, food, dress and the things people do for fun, differ so widely among different parts of India that not even a foreign country could unite us. As I stepped into the work world in Silicon Valley, my community transformed from friends at college to friends at work. The diversity expanded and we had Chinese, African-American, American, Pakistani and Indian representation in our circle. It was interesting to watch the desire for the familiar getting evolved to a desire for a deeper connection which transcended color, religion and nationality.

In my search for a community, the next level has been the discovery of a spiritual community based on the tenets of love, healing and service. Some of my deepest transformations have taken place with the support from this community. I believe that a necessary component to finding who you really are and what you want to do with your life is to surround yourself with people who not only have figured this out, but also can guide you through your journey without judgment. As they say, when the student is ready, the teacher(s) will appear.

Today, I can see the importance of having a community and the devastation of not having one, play out around me everywhere. Maybe it is the culture of a developed country where the emphasis is on individualism and survival of the fittest. To each their own. People are afraid to share about their personal lives or invite coworkers to meet their family. There is a fear of vulnerability. Often, we don’t even know our neighbors or the guy who works down the hall. And the scary part is, there is no need to know these people either. Well, at least till there is a crisis. And then reality hits..Am I really this alone?

Despite the recent economic crisis in United States, with thousands of people losing their jobs and homes, instead of trying to come up with the next best solution to fix the problem, it is important that we offer support to those who have been affected, especially the immigrant community. The immigrants have a lot at stake with having left their home countries and established themselves in a foreign country after many sacrifices and hard work. The immigrant pride is the biggest deterrent which prevents them for reaching out to each other for support. This is the time when a community of support and hope can be instrumental in helping people recover from the devastation of the recession. No, I am not talking about another ‘Networking group’ to help people find jobs. The need of the hour is to have a space where one can talk about the truth and trust that people around them will understand.

As Alcoholics Anonymous says in it’s traditions (Tradition 1) “Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. unity .” One AA member’s interpretation of this tradition is ” Each member of Alcoholics Anonymous is but a small part of a great whole. A.A. must continue to live or most of us will surely die. Hence our common welfare comes first. But individual welfare follows close afterward. ” The progress of an individual is closely linked with the welfare of the community. I have often observed that when a group of friends break-up, the individuals go through almost a mini-crisis. And when the group is thriving and everyone is there for each other, the individual also thrives.

My thoughts on the importance of a community are probably quite premature. Still, the feeling which I get whenever I interact with my spiritual community reminds me that there is a magic there which lifts my spirits..so why not do something which makes me feel good!

Color Me White (or Not)

I have been waiting to write this post for a while. Since the time I visited Africa during the month of May this year, I have been motivated to dig a little deeper into what it means to be an India women with a particular skin color.  Indian women are obsessed with being fairer than their actual skin color. And more recently, even men have joined the war for fairness, with one of my favorite actors Shahrukh Khan (and he is no longer my favorite) promoting the fairness creams for men in India. While Caucasians spend time and money getting a tan, Indians work on exactly the reverse. So what is that has made a country with 1/6th of the world’s population become so obsessed with the color of their skin?

As far as I can remember, right from the early days of my childhood, it was very important that I don’t go out too much in the sun. Girls who are dark skinned do not get a good match for a husband. Boys like girls who are very fair. And even if spending the summer months in a swimming pool to beat the heat, made someone get a tan, there were rigorous means adopted to get rid of it (which usually involved scrubbing your skin with a mixture of lime, turmeric, chandan and similar products till literally the tan is peeled off). The fair girls in school were given the part of ‘the fairy’ in all the plays. In my Kathak dance class, they were made to stand in the front for any dance performance. Our Indian cinema, Bollywood is full of very fair actresses barring a few non-mainstream ones like Nandita Das who have carved an artistic niche for them preventing the media from commenting on their not-so-fair skin color.

I was shocked when my first African-American Californian friend mentioned to me that she loved her skin color. I just kept staring at her and thinking ‘Poor thing, she has no choice. No amount of scrubbing is going to help her!’. However, the turning point for me came when I had to accept my own skin color and not let it pull me down, when I was surround with Caucasians. After having been raised in India with incessant advertisements of ‘Fair and Lovely’ and matrimonial classifieds asking for ‘Very fair girls only’, I had assumed that if you are fair (and nothing compares to the Caucasian fair), you are higher up in the society. However, it only led to a confusing state of mind, especially at a University like Stanford where the diversity is so high that students can pose for United Colors of Benetton Advertisements.

Having a White-is-better mindset worked well for me for sometime. Being born and raised in North India for most of my life, the only darker people (other than the occasional very fair ‘fairy’ girl in school), were South Indians (and most of them preferred to stay in South India for good reasons!) and the helpers in people’s homes.What I came to realize was that more than the caste system in India, it is the ‘color system’ which defines the country. And I had not escaped it.

Today, the consumer goods industry, taking advantage of a distorted color system in India, has made tons of money by selling a cream which claims to make you fairer within days. In fact, the latest advertisement on television is of a guy getting a job as he gained confidence by using the fairness cream to look fairer. Not to mention, the huge number of Ads showing that the girl only gets a marriage proposal when she uses that cream to make herself look fairer.

Africa was full of dark skinned women and they all seemed very comfortable in their skins. Unlike India, where most girls look like they have smeared a layer of foundation or white powder on their faces, African women loved color. African women have inspired me to love my skin color as well as an important part of who I am. I have to add a caveat that I was told that there is a color pecking order even among the Africans. So I cannot claim that all of the African women have freed themselves from the bondage of the color system. However, the ones I met at the World Economic Forum Conference I was attending in Tanzania, had definitely found that freedom. And that was enough for me to chase mine.

We as educated Indians and global citizens need to work on changing ‘Color System’ in India. . The coming generations need to learn a new set of values, that color is beautiful and rich. So please,  don’t color me white.

Tapestries of Hope for Precious

Someone once said “A beast does not know that he is a beast, and the nearer a man gets to being a beast, the less he knows it.”

I had the opportunity of watching two very powerful movies a couple of months ago. Both were on the topic of abuse. One was called ‘Tapestries of Hope’ and is shot in Zimbabwe. The movie is a documentary about the plight of the young girls who are raped by Zimbabwean boys/men on the pretext that Virgin blood can cure AIDS. The movie features Betty Makoni, a strong Zimbabwean women, who started an organization called the ‘Girl Child Network’ to help these rape victims. The movie will be released in 2010 in theaters all over the United States. It is produced by Anand Chandrasekaran and directed by Michealene Cristini Risley. Michealene dared to travel to Zimbabwe to research the situation, meet with Betty and bring this issue out from the darkness of the dark continent. I found that the movie was a strong dose of reality for me. Sometimes one feels that the problems we are facing are huge. However, movies like ‘Tapestries of Hope’ help in creating the perspective which people living in developed countries of the world desperately need. When 2-3 year old girls are being raped in some part of the world and are becoming HIV carriers themselves, most other issues pale in comparison.

The second movie I watched was ‘Precious’. This movie is based on the novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire. Precious won two Oscars this year. It is a story of an overweight black teenage girl called Precious, who is pregnant with her own father’s second child. The movie is very intense and graphic. It integrates issues of incest, physical violence and racism. Despite all the intensity, I found that there was a ray of hope through out the movie. And that ray was Precious herself. Some where, she found the courage to walk away from the abusive situation with the help of the female friends she found in the alternative school her counselor sends her to. The healing power of the fellowship of women for a woman is very strong. Many times, we forget that if women support one another, we can achieve anything we want. Instead, we spend our time in gossip and trying to 1-up one another. Precious would not have found freedom if she did not have the support of her female friends. One can only let go of something old, once we have something new to hold on to. So for most abuse victims, till they find a safe place where they know they will be protected, walking out of the abusive situation is difficult.

These movies have made me think about many things. First of all, I am very grateful for the safe and nurturing life I live today. It could have always been a lot worse. Secondly, it doesn’t matter if you are born in Zimbabwe or Harlem, whether you are black, white or brown, whether you are male or female, abuse is abuse. Any form of abuse (emotional, verbal, physical, sexual and all those forms which may not actually have a form) is not acceptable. People who get abused, become abusers. This chain needs to be broken. If you are a victim of abuse and/or are abusing someone you love and are not able to stop, there is help in the form of counselors and other social service organizations. If one is not available in your country, at least talk about it with a trusted friend. Many times, all it takes is the first step.

Recognize the beast inside you, as we all have one. Don’t let it run your life. Bring it out in the light and it will go away…

Alcohol: A Social Curse

On 12th and 13th of May, 2010, I had the privilege of attending a 2 day workshop in New Delhi, India by the National Institute of Social Defense (NISD), Ministry of Social Justice & Empowerment, Govt. of Indian and India Alcohol Policy Alliance (IAPA) on ‘Addressing Problems Related to Alcohol Use’ . It was a well organized workshop involving stakeholders from different government ministries, doctors and NGO’s. I was representing my NGO, FORE (www.foreindia.org) as well as SPYM (www.spym.org). The first part of the workshop focused on whether there is a need for a National Policy on Alcohol production, distribution and consumption keeping in mind how the alcohol is becoming more and more of a social problem. The second part of the workshop required the different stakeholders to put together the proposal and action plan for the policy. The outcomes from this workshop will be presented at the World Health Assembly help at Geneva by WHO on May 17th 2010 to become a part of the Global Strategy to address Alcohol Issues.

On the first day of the workshop, the session began with a panel of experts who presented their research and findings on ‘the magnitude of the problems related to alcohol use in India. This panel was moderated by Delhi’s popular Psychiatrist Dr. Nimesh G. Desai (Director, IHBAS (Institute of Human Behavior & Allied Sciences) ) and consisted of experts such as Dr. Rakesh Lal (Professor, AIIMS) AND Dr. Zeenat N (Chairperson, SPYM). The information presented was an eye-opener for me and made me realize the extent of this problem in India. Firstly, the excise revenue from Alcohol is the single largest source of revenue for the states. This explains why the state government supports and promotes alcohol use. On top of this, each state has it’s own policies around alcohol. For example: States like Gujarat and Mizoram are dry states. This underscores the need for a unified national policy for all of India rather than letting each state decide on their own. Recent research by VIMHANS institute in Bangalore, India has found that the total revenue from alcohol in India is Rs 216 Billion. However, the cost of dealing with the evils of alcohol use is Rs 244 Billion. There is clearly no cost benefit in selling alcohol in India at the larger social level.

Secondly, there is an increase in the number of women and adolescence who use alcohol. This is alarming as in case of women, drinking especially while pregnancy can cause irreversible harm to the fetus and adolescent youth are too young to deal with consequences of drinking.

Finally, the third area which is worth mentioning here is the difference between those who drink and those who get dependent on alcohol; alcoholics. As per Dr. Rakesh Lal from AIIMS, In India as of now, there are 62.5 million people who drink. Out of these, 10.5 Million have become Alcoholics. Since Alcoholism is a progressive mental disease, it requires professional treatment. The sad state of affairs is that for these 10.5 million alcoholics, there are only 144,000 beds available at treatment centers all over India.

The second day of the workshop involved another panel discussion on ‘Addressing Problems Related to Alcohol Use and Planning Ahead’, moderated by Mr. Arvind Ranjan (Director General, BSF (Border Security Force)). One of the presenters, Dr. Atul Ambekar (Asso. Professor, AIIMS), gave one of the most comprehensive and well researched presentations on ‘Effective Treatment Strategies and it Implementation). I will upload the presentation on this site once I get it. After the panel discussion, there was a bunch on Round Table discussions on how to evolve the National Policy and role of technology in solving such a social problem.

Considering my background in the Technology sector, I participated in the Technology Roundtable. We came up with some interesting strategies on how to use technology to solve social problems like Alcohol use and abuse. Since 70% of India’s population still lives in the rural parts, it was important to keep in mind that simply internet on computers cannot be the only way of disseminating information. Mobile and cable television emerged as the 2 most important ways of reaching out to the masses.

It was an honor to be part of such a group which was shaping the alcohol policy for India. I do hope that the action plan which emerged at the end of the sessions will be implemented by the different ministries within the government of India. Despite alcohols social acceptance, it is a drug which has an impact on all parts of the human body. If you or someone you love has become dependent on alcohol, please do not hesitate to reach out for help. If you are in Delhi, India, Alcoholics Anonymous has a helpline: 98119 08707 and for all other necessary information, you can visit AA’s India website: http://www.aagsoindia.org/delhi.htm .